I am apparently in need of your advice.

Yesterday I bought a small can of your ‘Chopped Pork and Ham’, wherewith to make sandwiches. On the can was a label on which I read , “Opening Instructions - Open can with a can opener.”

Faced with this revolutionary new technique which had never occurred to me before, I wonder if I should now dispose of the hammer and chisel, crowbar and stock of Semtex which have served me so well over so many years.

May I suggest, however, that future labelling should advise people to open the can and extract its contents before trying to eat the same. Otherwise you might be required to pay hefty compensation for damaged teeth!

Yours sincerely, (well - sort of !)